A few days ago my daughter found, who has been scared of anyone getting sick since my mother passed, found out what was actually going on with my grandmother... As far as she knew before this, she thought my grandmother was just getting old and we were hanging out extra times just to be together. As much as I would have loved for this to continue until the end, my grandmother wanted her to know the truth and told her.
It did make me a little upset as I know how sensitive she is about sickness and thinking everyone around her is going to get sick and leave her as well, but I got over it quickly as she seemed to understand this more than what had been happening with my mom, which was two years ago so shes had time to think and come to terms. So, now she knows.
But also with her knowing shes been on this whole, what is death kick. These are questions I've asked myself and I've always been "well, its like sleeping" But, the other day she asked me and it made me start questioning it again. What I somewhat quickly let her know, what that its the next journey for your soul, its the next part of life but no one is sure what it is because its your own journey. (How's that for some cool sounding stuff?!) But really.. What is death?
It made me think, I meditated the next morning in silence before the pitter-patter of tiny feet and I kept coming to different conclusions and thinking about what happens when you pass in this life. Do you end up on an alien planet and not remember where you were before that, do you just, as I said before, sleep and dream happy things -- but if you brain activity stops, how then do you dream? Do you float around in a mystical realm where you are invisible to human eyes but continue to live on earth, does your light and soul just die out leaving you with nothing but blackness until you yourself and just gone?
All these things kept coming up and after reading Proof of Heaven I really hope what is next is as he described it. Though as I said it may be very different than someone else and I definitely need to look into this more, but these are my thoughts from the other day and what I hope to see.
But anyway as I'm thinking about death, I'm also thinking what is when we do pass we are then reincarnated into another human being but if we are conscious enough in this life once we get there we can remember what went on in this one so that the mistakes if any were made aren't made with the new one. What if that's how all of the awesome and super outgoing people are how and why they are like they are, I mean, if you were conscious enough to let yourself know in the "in-between" and the next life wouldn't you not make mistakes or not keep quiet when inside you wanted to scream? That's not me saying well, if you are outgoing then its only because of your previous life because, honestly I don't know how it works, these are just some of the thoughts I had and have no been able to digest only spewing out what I thought, in hopes that I'm not the only one thinking about death or about what comes next.
But what if, you aren't as conscious in this life, and you go into the next one as a newborn human and you grow up, and these decisions come up and you keep thinking to yourself no I need to change it to this and you make all these amazing decisions while feeling inside that you "just knew" what if its your consciousness that deep down remembers and doesn't want you to repeat your previous life and is pushing you to choose the way you are..
I know that we are all conscious beings, just some do not think in the way of this, but we all just beings walking around as humans, we are all just souls who are portrayed as beings. But what if even if we don't remember, our "conscious" mind doesn't but our "subconscious" does and it is what drives us to make the decisions that really affect our lives.
I've really got to stop here though, I'm starting to go into this whole other context and I feel I need to think and sit on this before starting to ramble on this post.
I'll make the new post about my findings. Keep up <3
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