You guys!!! (In that high pitched girly voice)

 So, I haven't been around for jeez 4 months?! In this amount of time I have worked away from home and when I mean away I mean I basically lived in a hotel rather than my own home for almost two months, though I felt like I had this biggest and best vacation my first night away it got old real quick with me being home for two whole years! I also brushed out ALL, like all of my dreads -- even my most prized "Bertha" which was the largest in my head. It broke my heart, really. But that nice job I was talking about a minute ago was a job dealing with and being around the public, and my dreads were more of a neglected, super messy kind of look, like the whole, "I stay at home so I can look like this and just shove it in a beanie or a messy bun when I go out in public so its okay". This do wasn't doing it for me being in the setting I was in so they had to go and they did.

Yes, yes. I know why brush a year worth of love and growing down the drain? Well, because of the "look" and another reason is that well the work I was doing wasn't work that I can say I enjoyed. It was tedious and albeit aggravating but at the time, it was good money and money that my family and I needed so I did it. But the more I put myself in this position of doing work that I did not enjoy or love or even connect with pushed me away from my zen way of life.

I was, before taking this job, meditating daily - learning how to think positively and manifest small things in my life. I was so patient with myself and my kids (unbelievable right?! Though I am usually easy going with them anyway) I was reading books such as "Bhagavad Gita" and "Siddhartha" and they aroused something deep inside, I felt I was learning to look inside myself and understand the person that I was, that I somehow lost between childhood and now. But then I took this job -- I enjoyed the women from this job and joking with them so, in a way it was good, it got me out of the house and into the world I had gotten so scared of from being home for so long. But, this job it just made me so unhappy and so depressed, I feel it was partly because I was away from my family for 5 days a week, but still it pushed me from my pivitol place where I knew I was going to be the happiest and for that I really hated it.

 I just didn't realize at the time what was making me hate this job so much, until... drum roll please, I meditated on it. I realized how much I had put into my hair -- it's an amazing and eye-opening journey into dreadlocks it can make you learn and understand patience so much more, how much I had started to learn about the world and myself - my higher self, how I had started to see with my third eye. I had even started collecting and meditating with healing crystals which I have started to do so with again. But this realization just threw me, how it was so blatant but yet so hard to understand wihtout truly thinking about it.


Yes, this has come from another side of me but its a side that I hope to continue speaking through as I have always tried to hide and blend with society, but I've made a vow to never make myself so unhappy as I did just for something so short.

There will be more soon! <3